Oh '09 How I'll Remember Thee Pt. 2: WOW

(These pictures are of me and my best friend from high school when we first met 2005 and the other from June 2009... A lot has changed)


Today on my flight from Miami to San Juan, Puerto Rico I read through Time Magazine's annual "Year In Review"... to my surprise that MUCH more happened to this world than I knew! My GOD the earth does not revolve around me, and other events did occur this year besides me waking up to a vacuumed out brain, finding my vodka in my friends locker, and having concerns about my mind boggling amount of gum chewing! Outstanding!

But really, SO much happened this year, that really did, give this decade it's BIG BANG. Hello Obama, natural disasters, "war on terror", MJ, and Somalian Pirates. Not only that, but each individuals year of events, and turning points. Did not all of us come to some realization this year?

As I learned from a drunken 21 year old actor at my best friend's wedding on Sunday, "Humans are much more similar than different. We all know what it feels like to be alone, sad, angry, envious, and disappointed" Although these all seem to be negative emotions, they're all still very powerful ones. Is that not what makes artist paint? Those are the emotions which strike us the hardest and get us to react the most vividly. I think we all just forget that many others can relate.

Over a period of 12 months not only have I gained and lost little, but have the feeling of satisfaction. 2009 is probably my most successful, rewarding, and accomplished year thus far, AND with minimal drama at that! Not only have I moved three times and come to realize that where I'm at now is WHERE I love but also realized WHAT I love.
Obvi "love" is a strong word, but when it comes down to passion in life, it really does become a big deal. A lot of people go through life not really knowing what they should be doing with it, and end up wasting their precious one chance working at a job they hate, maybe solely based on the thought that they don't know what their love or passion is.

Sometimes, which I've found to be the case, is that people have multiple talents or passions they just don't know it, or don't know how to put it towards a career. The only thing that I've know to be my "talent" is art/ photography. People have talked to me about it and have always said "...But you have your photography, so you'll be okay". As if that's my only life line. But really, my love for talking (yeah, I know) and especially giving advise, and debating seems like a possibility as a careers choice. If there's only some way that I can do photography and utilize my talking skills. I've also constantly gone back with the love for war photojournalism. What does it take to become one myself?

What my point is, is that 2009 brought to me all of these realizations in life. What 12 months can do to change a person. I feel accomplished because I have gain knowledge and understanding about myself and love earlier on that will give me a head start for the new year. I'm not going to be stuck in 2008 wondering what my life goal will be, seems now that for 2010 I will be able to act on this passion and head in a positive adventure. The puzzle pieces are being found and I'm starting to get the picture.

If you're the person who has yet to unveil your talents, or find out how to make your life on it, just think. You must be reading this for some reason, even if it is out of boredom. Dude, there's so many jobs out there that anything can match, even make up your own job. You may have a passion for forging signatures, there's a job for that. Or cooking.

In any case, there's a job for everyone. And as sad as it is that we all need to work to live, and will most likely spend most of our lives doing so, remember that it's your only one (unless your beliefs conflict with mine). It's shitty for those who spend their entire lives wishing that they could use their passion day after day, and are never able to achieve it.

So 2009, thanks, it's been great. But I can't wait to get going, and see what's in store for 2010.

Oh '09 How I'll Remember Thee: Music Playlist

I know this year isn't OFFICIALLY over, but a couple days a head won't hurt. There's so many changes that have come over the past 12 months. Think of how much you've... hopefully grown as a person. Maybe, for some, even deflated as a person, but, hopefully you've now learned and will have a fresh start for 2010. A new decade at that!

First off I will start with my 2009 music playlist, as my time is spent with having myself plugged into my own personal theme songs.

First off with Jan - April: Which was either all House/Techno or Hip Hop with some Soca:
Insomnia - Tiesto
Forbidden Paradise - Tiesto
Dreaming - Tiesto
Amazing - Kanye West ft Young Jeezy
See You in My Nightmares - Kanye West
Lighting Up My LaLaLa - Lil Wayne
Partywrong - Love Thy Brother
Gifted - N.A.S.A ft Kanye West
Lil Hipster Girl - LMFAO
Phantom Pt. II - Justice

And obviously, my probably most played song that I'd jam to with my Bermy gyals ROMPIN SHOP - Vybz Kartel ft Spice
Check Out the VID: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ee0dSTdbyWw


Then the summer jams from May - August: Mostly just top 40/ main stream:
Sylvia - Miike Snow
Sexy Bitch - Akon ft David Guetta
YES - LMFAO
Sugar - Flo Rida
Heartbreaker (Wolfgang Gartner remix) - MSTRKRFT ft John Legend
Goodgirls Love Rudeboys - Kidbass ft Sincere
Not Fair - Lily Allen
How Do You Sleep - Jesse McCartney
Bounce - MSTRKRFT ft N.O.R.E.
Turn My Swagg On Remix - Soulja Boy
With A Little Help From My Friends - Easy Star All-Stars

And FINALLY the fall mix which pretty much includes everything:
Maybach Music Pt. 2 - Rick Ross
Ghosts n Stuff - Deadmau5 ft Rob Swire
Kryptonite (Purple Ribbon ALl Stars - I Be On That) - Tae K (Mixtape)
I'm Not Your Toy (Jack Beats Remix) - La Roux
Make Her Say (Afrojack Remix) Kid Cudi ft Kanye West
Aerodynamic (Aviel Brant Remix) - Daft Punk
Did It Again (Benny Benassi Remix) - Shakira ft. Kid Cuti
Brooklyn We Go Hard - Jay-Z
I'm The Shit (Remix) - DJ Class ft Kanye West
Watcha Say - Jason Derulo
Off That - Drake ft Jay-Z
High Heels - Lola
Escape Me - Tiesta
Sorry (Dirty South remix) - Kaskade

Home for the Holidays

I just arrived back in Toronto last night. I've gotten used to the 5 hour flight, even when I was surprised with WestJet not having a touch screen movie option, I was still able to fill the time. While decending into Toronto I push the person next to me aside so I can get a better view of the big city below... "How beautiful the lights are" I thought, and then looking back and forth I found myself searching for mountains and the water... Nothing. WTF where'd they go!???? OH WAIT we don't have those on the east coast. I've gotten so used to a gorgeous view, I thought it was normal... Nope. So what is the east coast? Flat, full of cement, and unathletic people. Damn. I mean it's my home... but... Vancouver is my new home, and I like it... a little bit more.

My father came to the airport to pick me up, we go outside to find the car and then I realized. ONTARIO'S EFFING COLD!!!!! Holllllyyyyyyyyyy the cold, the wind, everything. And I know it's been a mild winter for Toronto so far, but I've gotten so used to the west where in the past week it's been an average of 7 degrees. My body does not appriciate the negative numbers.

I arrive home to the house I grew up in, with a burning fire, and bacon wrapped millet mignons waiting. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. "Meredith. Make the ceasar salad. Meredith. Hang up your jacket. Meredith. What do you think your doing!?" (Okay yes, a warm welcome and hugs came before this, and my mother did need help cooking dinner...) I'm just saying... It's weird become home.

After dinner I go pick up my friend at the new apartment I've never been too. I then realized I know the streets of Vancouver better than Toronto, it just makes more sense. We go pick up my other friends and head to The Ossington (which is a small popular bar that attract the local hipsters). But there was a bouncer outfront saying it was at capacity... We look in the window and there's clearly enough space. WTF. So we go to Sweaty Betty's which was jammed pack but we were able to get a drink. Go back to The Ossington, still too full. We go to another bar across the street, empty. Weird. So from there on the 6 of us sat, caught up, and drank.

I go home surprisingly early, at 1:20, raid my parents fridge, and go sleep for 12 hours. Amazing.

It's so weird to be home, even for the holidays.

Oh Vancity! Oh Reality!

Like a lot of people I have a constant itch to escape reality. My top 5 ways are (in order of most used):

1) Daydreaming
2) Alcohol
3) Ignoring responsibilities
4) Traveling/ moving
5) Sleeping

However, I am so very bored with reality that I find myself trying to escape for the majority of my days. I was talking to my friend yesterday about how I don't remember when I say things out loud, in my head, or even at all when I'm not looking people in the eye. For example:
This week I went out, made a bad visual judgement, slipped and hit my eyebrow on a railing. Now resulting in a puffy blue-greenish eyelid. Typical. However, I'm pretty sure I said to the people behind me "Omg, wow, I'm such a clutz!!!" but because I don't remember seeing their eyes at the time, I'm not sure if I actually said it out loud.

Point is, I escape from reality so often, aka 95% of the time, that sometimes I don't actually remember what is real. This is also besides the fact that I'm a Pisces (look it up).

Moving to Vancouver I find that I've become a little bit more dazed than usual. Yes, I've gone over it multiple times- I go to art school, therefore enhancing my delusional mind frame, yes, BC air is much... stronger. But, maybe, perhaps, it has to do with all of the listed above as a combination.

I am constantly daydreaming, to the point, seriously, that I distort my reality and relationships with people. Another example being the following:

I was interested in someone in Toronto. Coincidentally, there was someone in Vancouver who looked and acted the same way, who I saw often (not by choice). On the days where I wasn't too pleased with the person in Toronto, I kept daydreaming that the person in Vancouver was the same guy. So whenever I saw that person I would give them a cold shoulder. I kept lacking reality, that that guy was not the one I was pissed at.

Just like when I drink, which again, is often, I distort my reality. Okay, DUH when you drink and text, drink and call, drink and SOCIALIZE, shits guna get messy. Just as I may take things the wrong way.

My last and final delusion with not being tapped into reality also has to do with relationships. I daydream and give myself reasons why I should stay distant. Which concludes in my obsession with leaving. I cannot stay in one place, I like to be known as a nomad.

Example: From June - September of this year I changed area codes on my phone 3 times. It's not that big of a deal, because that's how things worked out, but I constantly need to be in a different area. Hence why from 2006-2009 I would travel 2 hours each way each weekend just to get away. Also why I've commuted back to Toronto from Vancouver more than most students would to their home outside of the area.

My reality changes each time I go somewhere else. For me, traveling, is detaching me from reality, which brings me back to where I started of keeping thing entertaining for me and my imagination.

But then when I actually grasp the essence of reality, and realize that everything that has gone thru my head has not been real, I forget what actually is. I've been so caught up in my own world that I don't ever know what day it is, or have a challenging time remembering what I've even been doing in the past weeks.

What has happened to my reality?

Is It That Obvious?

Every weekday I make a commute via aquabus to Granville Island. I get off the aquabus and walk directly to JJ Bean where I take out one ear bud and talk with the employees who already know I'm going to order a large cappuccino. I say "Thanks, have a good day, see you later!", put my ear buds back in and walk to school where I sit down on the cement benches, put my bag down, then my coffee, pull out my pack of dumos, reach into my pocket for my lighter, and enjoy my first cigarette of the day.

Class or work in the library follows. If I am hungry then I go into the cafe and order half a tuna melt and a bottle of water. I do my work.

Put my ear buds back in, go to JJ Bean and depending on the time either order another large cappuccino, or if it's later in the evening order a medium chai latte. I talk some more with the employees and see, "Thanks, have a good evening, see you later!". I then search throughout the market figuring out what I will cook for dinner, which is usually either a steak fillet mignon, a tuna steak, scallops, or pasta. I then exit through the back door, walk to the closest bench to the aquabus ramp where the butt tin is, put my bag down, put my coffee down, and have a smoke.

When I'm done my smoke I walk to the aquabus, talk with the employees there, go across, get off the aquabus, walk along the seawall, go to the corner store, say to the owner "Hello! How're you!?" and make small talk, get two bottles of Arizona Green Tea, a 1.5 liter of water, and when I need to, four packs of Dumarie cigarettes. I then go to my apartment, put away the items, turn off my iPod and turn on my speakers.

Every weekday.

Well today was different. Today, someone made me take out my ear phones so he could tell me, "I see you do the same thing every single day. You get off the aquabus, and later on come back, sit in the same spot everyday with your coffee and have a smoke. What's you're deal? Where do you work?" I was a little surprised since I never notice anyone around me, and never thought anyone would notice my routine either. However, it wasn't in a creepy stalker way, it was like "you're so obvious that you do the SAME thing everyday" type of deal.

I know that my weekday life isn't all that exciting, but I've never really realized how exact my routine is until now.

Is it THAT boring? How do people deal without a routine?????? Should I make my weekday more exciting?

Message to THE Man.

Here's a couple suggestions I'd like to request if THE man was to read this:
(THE man is the guy who creates the work schedule, holidays, celebrations, and what not)

A four day weekend twice a month. Hey, I'm not asking that we only work or go to school for four days a week... I'm just saying four days a week every other week. The human body would greatly gain from this. With a four day weekend twice a week the working or learning human will become more efficient.

This is because no one really works on Sundays. The only thing people work on is curing their hangover, trying to remember how many people they macked, and trying to fill their stomachs with as much breakfast foods as possible.

If we were giving a four day weekend every other week then that Monday off would be for prepping ourselves for the week ahead. We would actually be able to do work because the hangover would be gone (generally there's not much going on on Sunday nights so no one would have much of an excuse getting drunk), you wouldn't be sleep deprived, and your body would be wanting to get back on track.

Human's would be much for efficient, and happier. There would be no more going to work or school on the Monday and hating life because you're unorganized and lacking needed sleep.

Brilliant? I think so.

(This picture of my friend on Feb 9th @ Celebs. She was having a good time and might need that extra day to recover. But she will not have that day, which will effect her monday... due to not having a four day weekend.)

Hipster Kids

I could go on forever about hipster kids. Not only about how I do not understand this semi- unfortunate trend, but why the hell it's so popular.

Guys: Do you like cutting off the circulation of your balls? Do you find this attracts women? (If you're straight). Do you enjoy being anorexic and not being able to eat... or have muscle? Do you find this attracts women? (If you're straight).

Answer: WHY THE HELL DOES IT!?!?!?! I don't get it! Apparently hipster ladies have now turned into gay men. What happened to "the man"? Since when were rib cages and hip bones a turn on when sported by a guy? I guess I missed the myspace post. Oops.

And one more question: Plaid. Plaid. Plaid. EVERYWHERE. The lumberjack look isn't too bad when done in a sexy look of the month calender, but please, it's being over done. when I was at the Biltmore in Vancouver a couple weekends ago it was EVERYWHERE. I didn't know who was who because they were all wearing the same bloody thing. Do all the boys want to match? They obviously aren't like girls who either get ready together or call before hand to make sure they aren't even wearing the same socks.

That's all I can rant about for now.

(Sorry friends, this was the best picture for this example.)

Park People

In class a couple weeks ago my group decided to do a project on parks. After the presentation the class all sat in a circle (yes like in our kindergarden days) and discussed. When it was time for the class to critique my part in the presentation I felt a speech was necessary before they spoke. And me being the rambling, distracted person that I am, started my speech like this:

"So I don't really know much about parks, I'm not really a park person. Well if there are park people, like that category stereotype of park people... the people who go to parks. I don't really know what category I'm in, but I don't fit in with the park people... Parks and I don't really get along too well, I don't go and hang out in parks... Like park people do."

(Meanwhile, while my arms are flailing in the air and I'm looking at the ceiling, my classmates are just sitting there like "WTF is this crazy girl talking about?)

I continue: "I'm just saying I don't like parks... well I mean I went at night to do this project and it sucked. Like the last time I was in a park at night in Toronto I got a gun pulled out on me..." And then I paused to remember that day... and when I return my focus to the class my teacher and the students all have their mouthes wide open in shock... Oops.

After that there was no need for discussion, they moved into the next person. Thank you awkward silences.

(I took this picture at my closest park at 5pm about four weeks ago while it was pouring rain... Not fun)

Personalities Of The Jacket

In the past week I've sported 4 different jackets/coats.

The first one was a well worn grey peacoat that I fell in love with at a Korean boutique in Kensington Market, Toronto over a year and a half ago. However, it was the last jacket left, I had to have it... but it was a small... a small meaning Korean small... not obese American Le Chateau small. Not only does this mean the buttons were being a little snug around the waist, but the sleeves... OH THE SLEEVES. It was like a 3/4 sleeve on me. But over all a fantastic looking coat - minus the fact that by the end of it the buttons had been re stitched 3 times, as well as the liner, I had lost a couple buttons so it just looked awkward. However people seemed to give me a respectful "She's a starving artist" look. I would get compliments on the jacket quite often, but it obvious it needed a lot of work. (But then I lost it last weekend when I was incoherent at Celebrities).

So I had to improvise and go through my closet for jackets I had for "just in case" reasons. Thankfully it's been extremely sunny and not too cold in Vancouver so I could pull out a fall bomber jacket.

This jacket is from Stitches... nough said. It's a pleather... maybe even a fake pleather jacket, really the quality is so poor it reminds me of a dog's rawhide chewy bone. However, the look resembled leather and I am far too cheap to buy a real leather jacket especially living in Vancouver when it usually rains all the time. The wrists, collar, and waist bands however were made out of some crappy cotton spandex material that once stretched will never return to it's original size. And because of my obsession with pushing my sleeves up, the wrist shape was forever distorted to the size of a 70's tambourine slamming hippy sleeve. However, to the untrained eye, the whole outfit made me kinda look like a bad ass. "Leather jacket girl jamming away to her iPod" I got less double takes, but got more attention from the men who let their hair grow, didn't notice the moth holes in their Harley Davidson T-Shirt, and wore their Mountain Equipment Coop construction shoes like socks. I didn't really care, but it wasn't exactly what I wanted.

Then for the colder days I was forced to wear a quilted black jacket that had a fur trimmed hood, had a boxy structure, and only looked good when wearing multiple layers and colours that could distract from the jacket.

On my first day of wearing it this past week, I made it half way to school and had to stop myself to detach the fur, it was that disturbing. I've never felt so self conscious about wearing a jacket before! Although it did keep me warm, I realized I'd rather be a bit cold and confident than wanting to dig a grave and be warm. So I continue my way to the coffee shop which I visit at least 3 times a day, and look at one of the employees and say "On a scale of 1 to 10 how much of a douche do I look?" and although I know she was trying to be nice she politely says, "You don't look like a douche! You just look like you're going skiing." But although I may have seemed like a boarder, felt like a douche, I think I just looked young. I looked my age. Although age is just an unmeasurable untangle idea, I felt it. Which disturbed me greatly because I've always wanted to be older than I am, and give off that impression... I've just never been satisfied with my age. It seemed that I was no one, and I became mush in the background. I was "The young student who can't dress well" in everyone else's eyes.

But then came the turning point. The day my life changed... Yesterday. When I made my first trip to the Pacific Centre in Vancouver and found my soulmate on a Christmas 50% off sale at BCBG. I saw, I grabbed, I put on, I loved, I stroked, I cat walked, I bought.

It is knee length. It is black with leather sleeves... Sleeves that REACH my hand. A peacoat style with well assembled buttons. A belt which I can tie perfectly. A flexible collar. Deep pockets that can hold my cigarettes and crackberry without having to worry if they're going to fall out. Beautiful. I've been sporting it around for two days so far and I have become the successful independent woman of the 21st century... all thanks to this coat. People perceive me differently in that, "She should be respected" way, and it's beautiful. It's like a coke jacket. It makes you feel on top of the world without getting nose bleeds or gum rubbing side effects. Amazing.

Now we live... Happily... Ever... After.

The End.