Life Lessons Pt 8: How To Survive The Olympics

Well I came back from Toronto early. There was just so much going on in the news, and all the parties, I knew I had to take part and get rowdy. So I switched my flight to get back at 11pm on Tuesday Feb 23rd.

The next day I get a gig at Canvas Lounge for the Men's Olympic Ski Jumping victory party. I go with a friend, take pictures, talk to people, have some drinks, and then peace to The Cellar... where there were SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS and more drinks. Then got into the Irish House (where Colbert was recently) and had more drinks. The streets of Granville were filled and everyone was stoked on life.



The next day I went to the Women's Canada vs. USA Hockey game where I screamed at the top of my lungs getting so rowdy for Canada. That night a group of us went back to The Cellar for a friends going away party. Our friend is in a wheel chair due to a broken ankle... I had no idea how much people love cripples. We're pushing her around the sky train and down Granville yelling "SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS" and "GO CANADA GO" while the rest of the mosh of people gave her high fives like a champ. At The Cellar I'm taking pics of the band, turn around and see that the USA Women's Hockey team had showed up! More drinks for me, and them and soon enough we were all singing Sweet Home Alabama on stage. What a night.

And lost my voice.



The next day (last night- Friday) I took pics are Calvin Harris which was dope.

ANYWAY THIS IS HOW TO SURVIVE:

1) Bring a friend in a wheel chair: You get lots of free drinks, new friends, and skip lines.
2) Get rowdy
3) Sing karaoke with Olympic Athletes
4) Scream Lil John ft. LMFAOs song "SHOTS"
5) Take advantage of drinking on the streets while you can.

I've realized that as much as I disagree with the Olympics, hate what it's done to Vancouver, all the money it's waisted. I do love the parties. And getting rowdy with strangers.

(The first picture is of me and my friend with some of the Olympic Ski Jumpers, Second pic is of the drummer - both at Canvas... Third pic is of a Woman's USA Olympic hockey player getting rowdy at The Cellar... And the fourth pic is of Calvin Harris at Celebrities)

1 word: DOPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Life Lessons Pt 7: You Want What You Can't Have

I live in Vancouver, BC. You know what that means. The Olympics.
Now obviously this has had tons of hype for a while now, whenever you hear "Vancouver" you think "2010 Olympics" (Or maybe that's just me).

ANYWAY. I was pretty pumped for the Olympics, and living in the host city. WOW the big WINTER GAMES. A time when countries from all over the globe congregate in one city to show off without using weapons. The chance for Canada to really show off it's fantastic mass amounts of snow and put it to use. A chance for Canada to redirect it's Hockey Night to it's Olympic Games. A chance for Whistler Snow Junkies to display what they've been trying to justify dropping out of school for.

Well all I can say is HA!

We were all so pumped for the Olympics, but as it crept close the locals started noticing how many douche bags were supporters of the games... And as those douche bags started appearing more and more like wild cattle let out of a gate, everyone knew to abandon their homes and flee. But it's not like we're over reacting! Not only was Vancouver flooded by a tsunami of grease monkeys but also by:

Taxes: which are going to: MOVING SNOW FROM MOUNTAIN TO MOUNTAIN BY HELICOPTER... WTF CANADA

Police: Vancouver has enough police for good reason, but seriously we don't need an army of police boats acting as Big Brother around English Bay

New Employees: Obviously the Olympics has employed many of people which is great for mullah, but it's not cool. I went to great a crepe from my favourite crepe place on Granville Island. I was craving it all week, so pumped, and there's a new girl on staff. Who completely massacred my highlight of the day. It's just not the same.

Art Installations: Holy Fucking Hell. I like art. I like public art installations. But I hate those fucking beams of light raping the skies of English Bay and False Creek. THEY LOOK STUPID, THE DESIGNS DON'T WORK, THEY'RE SO BRIGHT, I CAN'T SLEEP, GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANYWAY. We all loved the Olympics when it wasn't here... But now that it's come it's not nearly as good as we expected.
Lesson Learned.

But in all honesty... if we weren't having the Olympics in Vancouver everyone would have been like "Wow, it'd be so cool to have the Olympics here". And yes, I do semi regret flying to Toronto and not having to deal with the chaos.

(This photo was taken the night of the Opening Games at Burrard and Robson... where I find lights, fire, fire works, a concert, and a mosh pit of thousands of people... To my surprise).

Life Lessons Pt 6: How To Be Aggressive

On friday night I went to a Rusko show. It was packed, everyone was hyped, the music was dope, it smelled horrible, and I thought the floors were going to cave. Typical dubstep. I somehow managed to consume 14 drinks in 3.5 hours.

ANYWAY blah blah blah shit happens and I punch a guy in the face. 5 times.

1) I don't know how to punch.
2) I have 3 huge metal rings on my right hand.
3) I was waisted.

I wake up in the morning and get a text saying "your hand hurting?"
I flex my hand confused... fine. Then trying to recall what happened the night before FUCKKKK

Later as the pieces are put together and my thumb continues to swell and bruise I find myself thinking "WHY THE FUCK DID I PUNCH HIM"

Me being the egotistical drunk I am did it because I was told I was "all talk".

Lesson learned... learn how to punch properly before the vodka fills your ego.
... Another lesson learned....
.............DON'T MESS WITH ME.

........I'M CHUCK NORRIS BITCH!

(This picture is from that night- I think I was just got so hyped up cause it was in the air)