Merry Somers Guide To: Finding The Trust Worthy

Over my years of existence, I've found that 98% of people I come across are not trust worthy.
Why? Because they're human.
The 2% of people who are always able to keep their mouth shut and can honestly respond to demand are aliens.
(The secret is out trust worthy ones)

These creatures come in all shapes and sizes, and are rarely green. Ever look at their neck?... right below the hair line? There's a flashing red light.

Other ways you can spot these rare beings are thru this check list:

1) They don't have dandruff (humans with bad dandruff - so bad there's a pool of it that collects in the back of their shirt collar- are the least trust worthy of them all)

2) Their feet are proportionate to their height. (AKA they are not short and have fat feet.... CLOWNS)

3) If the first letter of their name starts with A, B, C, K, L, R, S, and sometimes M.

Ones that you should be MOST weary of are ones with:

1) Trimmed moustaches - and only a moustache... no other facial hair (especially if they're female)

2) Unnecessarily huge, bulky, extended chins

3) If they have or have once ever had a perm.

Look out for these opposite beings. Both are extreme and unique... and neither are covered by the Discovery Channel.
Only here on The Merry Somers Guide.

Be cautious my friends.