When Your Mother Travels to Stay with You in Your Apartment:

Remember that/to:
1) They see things that you do not
2) Things that you may think are cool (like a collection of empty vodka bottles) are not cool to them
3) Always know where your windex, rags, and all cleaning supplies are
4) Anything marks, burns, or stains will result in them thinking that you just had a party and they are from cigarettes
5) Never admit that someone else has slept in the bed they are sleeping in.
6) You will be forced to do your work
7) You will never see your friends during this time... without your mother wanting to meet them.
8) The way that you live is "the wrong way"
9) By the time they leave your apartment will be completely rearranged.
10) During this time you won't have any say in decision making, as she has already planed out what is going to happen.

This is what I've learned from the past 4 hours that my mother has been staying with me... 4 more days to go.

Help.