Life Lessons Pt 1: How To Get Thru Lectures

As I am writing I am in my first lecture of the semester. Last semester I had an art history lecture. Both are three hours long, in a room with 400 people, and a stage, podium, screen, and projector at the front.
WTF are you supposed to do when you're not sitting on an isle seat at the back of the room? It's boring, your aggravated, my ass goes numb, you start daydreaming about what you would be doing if you weren't chained to your seat, and you start trying to over hear other peoples whispering chatter. AND the worst, when the teacher is trying to be funny, and the audiences responses is a low groan.

Well, from my experiences with this years boring, lengthy, tedious lectures, this is what I've learned. My guide.

1) SIT ON THE ISLE
2) Bring your laptop
3) Have a large 4 shot coffee
4) Google as much information as possible so you can book mark it, and not have to listen
5) Text others who are in the class, so you can be further distracted, but more entertained.
6) Resist yelling or throwing objects
7) If you do make sure they can't see your face
8) If they do know who you are and they confront you about it, tell them that you have the stomach flu, haven't been able to sleep in 2 weeks, you've been studying but you're so dyslexic you don't understand anything, and you really like their sweater, "where'd you get it?"
9) During the smoke break... run.
10) Ponder what you think the teachers life story may be... As an extremest.

Follow these guidelines... and you'll pass with a C-... But you'll enjoy that extra time free that you'll probably just spend on facebook anyway.

This picture was taken when I was 16... Same thing on my mind now. Not much as changed.

(THIS IS WRITING, A STORY, ENTERTAINMENT, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, VIEWER FRIENDLY, A JOKE, SARCASM... Take it however way you want, but this is not FACT nor ENCOURAGEMENT)