I Just Don't Like You.

Judgement.

It's something we all do. No matter what religion we believe in, no matter how strong your morals are. We all do it.
Well, I always knew I did this more than the average person. Just because, as much as I am positive, I am often negative in certain surrounds.

Words POP into my head, which I wish I could control. Judging someone so fast, and keeping that dislike... Only until talking to them and realizing how right I was.

Yes, I am right. But so wrong to keep that against such a stranger.

The other day, I talked to a person who I'd been mocking for a couple months. Their behaviour is still the same, but really, they're a lot cooler when you get to know them. They have ideas that you've never thought of before!

WOA! Weeeeiiirrddd... They have minds too??? These people I judge, that i'm realistically way more similar to then ever expected?

But I still just don't like you.

(The t-shirt in the picture is from a gift shop in Maui, Hawaii - thought it was funny)

Flip Over the Pillow

A couple weeks ago I was talking and walking to the club with a friend, and we came across the topic of "Flipping Over The Pillow".

You know like when you're trying to sleep... you're restless, you can't stop thinking, you try your side, your back, your front... but NOTHING seems to work? BUT THEN... you FLIP OVER YOUR PILLOW to the new FRESH, COOL side you've always been looking for... you rest your head back on it... and you PASS OUT!?? Oh glorious cooled down sided pillow.

After having this exhilarating conversation I started thinking about it in another way.

It reminded me of flipping over situations.

You're so sure you're right - your way or the highway - there can't POSSIBLY be any other side to the situation because you're SO RIGHT!

Well no. There are always two sides, and maybe if you were to just... FLIP OVER THAT PILLOW... you might just realize that the other side just makes so much more sense. You enjoy it, you learn to understand it, and soon enough you become an open minded person.

I for one, have always had a problem with this... What is this "OTHER SIDE" thing you're talking about? That's not possible! Why? ...Because I'm ALWAYS RIGHT! SO HA!

But really no... you're so wrong. Just try flipping that pillow every now and then... you may come to like it - and maybe even realize that that other side might be even more enjoyable than the other. You might just acknowledge it.

Embrace it, it's nothing to be afraid of. Just flip over the pillow.

(The reason why I chose these photos is to show the evolution of my water mark over the course of the year. I first started off with having HUGE "merrysomers" text taking up 1/3 of the picture. I later moved onto it only taking up the bottom left corner. and now.... just simple and white - There are more sides than just one)

Remember When You.. "Once Had That"?

Remember those days... long ago... those days that seem like a dream? They weren't all that fantastic at the time, but OH MY GOD they seem like heaven now? OOOOHHH if only I took advantage of that situation at that time... When I once had that!!!

Not like right now is bad at all, actually it's pretty fucking great. BUT THEN!! OOOOH THEN!!

Once when I had that, things were better, life was perfect, I was happy as can be, they were amazing, I was a better person, I was healthy..... BLAH BLAH BLAH

Oh Then!!
I can list all thee amazing things:

Oh back then, when I once had it like this:

1) Waking up at 8:30 and feeling well rested and eager to start my day at my exhilarating school!
2) Present to my wonderful class and teachers my well thought up work!
3) Eat a healthy Tuna Melt, and talk with my stimulating class mates!
4) Study in the library and feel accomplished!
5) Pick up a healthy, fresh, dinner, with FRESH VEGGIES!! OH MY!!
6) Cook up a new meal and watch your favourite soap
7) Get a cutie - tutie - frutie - lootie call from your super-duper-making-me-blush-crush
8) Go out in the town! Oh how fun!
9) Goodnight world!

I bet you remember your precious way back when days like this? Similar? A little Brady Bunch like? YEAH YOU DO.

BECAUSE: In REALITY they were like this:

1) Waking up at 8:30 and cursing to the world wondering what crack you were on when you picked an 8:30AM FRIGIN CLASS!!!!
2) It's friggin pouring rain and your umbrella sucks and you need to lug at 10 pound board
3) Your presentation is only half done and you get ridiculed by the class and your teacher EYE KILLS YOU
4) Eat half a Tuna Melt and chain smoke by yourself, glaring at people, glued to your iPod for the rest of your lunch break
5) Go home and microwave a pizza pop while wishing you got more than 10 channels
6) Stare at your phone for 3 hours wishing that someone would just give in!!
7) Procrastinate until 3AM and eventually bore yourself to sleep


WELL HELLLOOOOO!!! LOOK AT WHERE YOU ARE NOW!! Is this not the time that in the future will be the "OH THEN! If only I was back at THEN when I... Once Had That"......???

NOW will b a then, and THEN you can look back on the NOW and b like "WOOAAA THAT WAS ACTUALLY FREAKIN AWESOME CAUSE I DID SOMETHING GREAT!!!"

Do it. Make you're "NOW" an AWESOME "THEN"

DONE! HAPPY REMEMBRANCE DAY!

(I chose these photos cause when you tend to reflect, it's hard to remember the details... like these people's faces)

Sharing is Caring: HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I have problems with sharing. Maybe it's just the only child syndrome, but I believe it's much more than that.
I find this hard on a day to day basis, trying to hold back my snarl when one might ask to use a pen... but I do find it the hardest around this time. This time of thanksGIVING.

Last night my friends and I made a feast, truly, a massive feast, feeding 12 vertically growing people. In order to make the space, we had to completely rearrange the apartment, turn a work desk into a dining room table, and turn my home into a Holiday Inn. Effort that I had always seen families commit to, but never realizing how much work it really is.

Waking up before 1pm on a WEEK DAY is hard enough for me, let alone waking up at 9am on a SUNDAY to be a slave to my kitchen and a defrosting foreign corpse. But somehow, with mass amounts of help (slash me standing in awe, getting exhausted just watching everyone cook) we were able to not burn down the building, and make vegetables and turkey into dishes Hell's Kitchen could never even prefect.

What does this have to do with sharing? MANY, MANY, MANY THINGS:

1) SPACE: I'm kinda the worst for this. Instead of cooking (which is completely useless, except for my masterful potato peeling skills) I just like to hover over the chefs... To pretend I'm cooking with them. With so many people doing different things in the kitchen I feel bad if I'm not right there in the action. Maybe they'll need a spatchula!?! I CAN GET THAT!

2) FOOD: One person may want to make a root vegetable dish with that yam, what if someone else wants to make yam FRIES, OR EVEN.... marshmallow yams?!?!? WHAT DO YOU DO!?! you share... and yes, sharing those yams can be quite hectic, but somehow, we were all able to not show our teeth and bare some bountiful yams.

3) TIME: In order for everyone's special dish to be cooked to perfection, and for the big bird to get roasted all the way to the neck, there's some sharing of appliances to be done.

OVERALL, Thanksgiving is not appreciated fully without going thru the occassionally painful suffering of SHARING. Giving of YOURSELF to SHARE with everyone. Now THAT is Thanksgiving.

And it's worth it.

HAPPY (PRE) THANKSGIVING AMERICANS!!! HAPPY (POST) THANKSGIVING CANADIANS!!!

October Has COME!!??

Well folks,

In three days it'll be October. OCTOBER!?!?!??????? WTF????
Well I never thought this would come, but it basically has. Where has the time gone? I'd love someone to tell me cause I really have no idea... I don't even know what I did this morning. werd.

I just looked at my "STATS" progress on my blog. This month of September was one of my most prosperous viewing months. There has been more readers than ever before.

WHY? One might ask... well because of procrastination... Like I'm doing right now.

Somehow, this month of September has flown by so fast because of it. Getting back into routine, end of summer depression, getting that last drop of Stolis down your throat, wondering if your roommate will ever turn the dishwasher on, and yes, indeed, my most common time spender, day dreaming about what you SHOULD be doing and what you'd RATHER be doing.

Today, I just read in a course book (not my own... because that would mean I'd actually be doing something productive), but my roommates, since it wasn't a necessity - about the different types of procrastinators.



Basically, in my way of saying it, there's 4 different types:

Type 1: You don't do shit all ever and you're guna fail life and live off of heroine shot up in dirty rat pissed needles... on East Hastings - obvs

Type 2: You know you need to do something but you don't (aka ME) and instead day dream about what you should be doing and/or rather be doing (like I said above)... Even though you may be given 4 months to do something you'll wait until 5 hours before it's due to actually lift a finger (aka like my project that's due tomorrow that I've got 1/10th done... and I am now here blogging at 2:30am)

Type 3: You know what you have to do, but you agree to way too many things and can't finish them all. (That's something I do too, but only if it's fun... like agreeing to see who can chug the most red headed sluts (THAT'S THE NAME OF A SHOT FYI..... I asked someone if they wanted to do a red headed slut with me... and the answer was not what I was expecting) ANYWAY, so then the person can't complete all tasks at hand

Type 4: I didn't read that far... I started playing Bejewelled on my phone.



ANYWAY, my point is... there's many different types of us that enjoy spending our time differently. Apparently this month, the cool way to procrastinate from handing in an essay, taking photos for class, making a presentation for your boss, or researching which horse has the most steroids on the track.... was reading online blogs.

So now, October has come. As much as I'm not a fan of New Years resolutions I feel as if we all should make one every month. I'm not quite sure if that would lead into complete depression of adding another goal onto your long list of which hangs over your head like dream catcher... OR if it will actually encourage you to take a step into completing a short term goal which could motivate you into a more prosperous month.

Every year the most common resolutions are "Quit Smoking", "Go to the Gym", "Be a Better Person", "Be Wiser With Spending", "Stop Starving the Dog".... which clearly are all completely unrealistic and just make you hate yourself that much more for not adding another goal, but adding another burden which makes yourself because that you're incapable of completing anything other than opening a bag of Miss Vickey's chips.

BUT for every month maybe try something like "Wash Your Face Before Going to Bed", "Wake Up Before 2pm Four Days a Week", "Cook Food Instead of Microwaving It", "Get a Designated Someone To Punch You Every Time You Say Something Negative" (I've actually done that, not on my own will tho)....

You know, things that you might actually be able to achieve that might make you feel better about yourself that might make you start using your time a little bit better: equalling less procrastination and more accomplishment.

HOWEVER, don't stop reading my blog. That is all for now.

ATTENTION ALL ART GOERS AND BEER DRINKERS!

THIS SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 18TH Vancouver will never be the same…



Heineken Canada is coming to Vancouver like never before. Heineken Canada is creating the ULTIMATE ARTS & CULTURE experience just for *YOU!

*You: Defines: the art student, art interest, blog writer, blog reader, film maker, film viewer, photographers, friends of, critic, fan, reader, seller, buyer, internet junkie, Biltmore goer, Grey’s Anatomy watcher, psychology major, Spanish minor, motorcycle rider, bicycle wheeler, treadmill runner, Converse wearer, Vintage sale scrounger, OR even Biggie Smalls best karaoke impersonator.

YES YOU! ALL OF YOU! WE WANT YOU!

So come join us on Saturday September 18th at 3PM at Beau-XI Art Gallery aka 3045 Granville St (south of W14th Avenue).
This is an amazing opportunity to branch out into Vancouver’s field of artistic treasures, and get that first step to motivating your ever longing passion in the arts.

Heineken Canada CARES and wants to bring YOU to Beau-XI Art Gallery along with three other South Granville art galleries, AND get the opportunity to hear from either the owner(s) of the gallery and/or artist.

This is like no other field trip your high school made you pack shitty lunches for…. THIS includes FREE HEINEKEN for ALL of YOU at the end of the tour at THE ACADEMIC for a relaxing time to ponder with friends over this life changing event.

BUT WAIT! Spaces are LIMITED!!!!

EMAIL: maddie_ross21@hotmail.com TO ENSURE YOUR SPOT! ONLY HAVE ROOM FOR THE FIRST FIVE RESPONDERS!

Popular questions asked:

Q: Do we need to pay? A: NO IT’S FREE BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU!
Q: When do we get the beer? A: NOT UNTIL THE END WE WANT TO REWARD YOU WITH YOUR ENLIGHTENED SOBER THOUGHTS!
Q: When does it start? A: 3PM SHARPE!



COME OUT!!!!

Here's To You TIFF!

Entertainment Guide for the TIFF Tourists: Essentials: Food, Drinks, Clubs.

FOOD:

Breakfast/ Brunch/ Hangover:

Over Easy (Bloor & St. George - across from the ROM)

Fran's Diner (BEST MILKSHAKE - on College st..... by spadina i think?)

Cafe/ Lunch/ Sandwiches/ Sushi:
Aromas (Bloor & Bath - Near Honest Eds)

Black Camel (best sandwiches - Yonge & Crescent - across from Rosedale subway station)

Last Temptations (Kensington & Dundas - Great for getting day drunk too)

New Generation Sushi (BEST SUSHI IN TORONTO - Bloor & Bath)

Dinner/ Burger:
W Burger (I personally haven't been there, but I hear it's the best - Yonge & College)

La Palette (I duno if you like french food- I usually don't, but this place is BOMB - and has great wine and is cheap..... Augusta Ave & Oxford (near College)

Tony Bulloni's (Amazing Italian - Cumberland & Ave)

Pure Spirit's (My fave resturant in toronto ... before I became allergic to oysters... but they still have amazing dishes besides oysters--- Distillery District)

Dessert:
Moroco (BEST CHOCOLATE ANYTHING: also great breakfast/lunch/dinner- Yorkville & Bay)

DRINKS:

Nirvana (My fave place to go to get drunk before going out - cheap, awesome people, service, and amazing selection - College & Bath across from Sneaky Dees)

Last Temp (Used to be my hangout way back when I was underaged, it's still a dope place with a dope patio, but it's usually pretty packed when it's warm)

Ronnie's Local 069 (Another one of my old fave local hangouts with an outdoor patio - Nassau Street & Augusta)

Fomo (It's cool I guess, a lot of "cool" people go there- i've seen Fritz Helder & The Phantoms chill there, but I think it's pretty frigin lame if you aren't there with at least 5 other people and you don't have a "booth"- It's a "Champaign" bar - 270 Adelaide St. W.)

Sultra Tiki bar (I like this place- you GOTTA get the Volcano It's massive, one will get you drunk forsure - with a decent hangover - College & Clinton)

Gorilla Monsoon (is an OLDSCHOOL place I used to go to when I first started going out aka 15. Haven't been there in a while but they gota dope patio, it's great for people watching, and they usually got awesome live bands that are about to make their big break - Queen & Spadina..... NEVERMIND just read that it's been closed for a year.... the place beside it isn't bad either)

Ultra Supper Club (Go right to the roof top, it's a great place to get drunk before going out for a rager, it reminds me of a weak miami trying to be ritzy hotel roof top club - but it's pretty great - Queen & Peter)

Drake Hotel (Obviously)

CLUBS:

Nyood Supper Club (-Upstairs-My favourite 2010 Summer Find! Awesome club to get bottle service, fantastic music, small and intimate, better than the Social - Queen & Dovercourt)

The Thompson Hotel (Amazing basement and roof top, classy place to go anytime - Guarantee there's guna b something special going on there for TIFF - Bathurst & Wellington)

Wrongbar (As much as I hate this place, it's probably the place i go to the most when I'm back - brings in the best Djs to toronto - Queen & Brock)

MOD Club (DUH. I actually love this place, and they bring in the best shows - next to Wrongbar- but everything about this place is just better - College & Crawford)

The Social (It's the Social. It's good, everyone's been there at least 3 times, and somehow everyone still goes there. They still got special events going on and good music. - Queen & Dovercourt)

The Pilot (I've only been there once, but I did enjoy myself. Right in Yorkville, usually +21, fun roof top - Cumberland & Yonge)

Shallow Groove (Pretty cool club, they can be a little bit off the music sometimes, but it's generally fun - kinda reminds me of Strange Love - College & Manning)



That's all I can think of for now! ENJOY ALL YOU TIFF TRAVELLERS! I WISH I WAS YOU!

( I took this photo during the Vancouver Film Fest - outside of an art gallery for the VIFF SPOKED! party)

You're SO VAIN, You Probably Think This BLOG is About You

Well today was my first day back to school.... as it was for most everyone who goes to school.
Everyone's usually pretty pumped because they actually get to socialize for once in there work place for the first time in 4 months. Back to school, back to school, to prove to Dad I'm not a fool...... Pretty much.

Anyway, I see most people getting eager to class, sometimes 15 minutes early just to bite their nails. They wear there most prized outfit which they will probably wear for the first 5 consecutive days just because.... well just because. They got there hairs n nails did like a pro, but on some extra bronzer to prove they actually had a summer, and are raising their hands and asking questions to get a head.

Well my first day of school went along the lines of "FML" the attitude in which I ended the previous semester. I rightfully so, did think that this new start would be a fresh and exhilarating one, but only to find myself suck in the situation in which I had drunkenly left it. With a bad attitude and re-duing all those classes which I unfortunately was too licked and hungover to attend.

Attitude..... does change everything. Even though todays class was a re-due of last semester I still could have gone in there with the mind frame of "YAAAYYYY SECOND CHANCE! NEW PEOPLE! NEW STUDENTS! I'M GUNA GET AN A!!!"........ but instead I continued to slum the negative energy into "HOLY FUCK WHY ARE THERE SO MANY HIPSTERS AND WHY AM I RE-DUING THIS CLASS WHEN I'M ALREADY GETTING PAID!!!!!!"

Well, if you can relate, and really do think this post is about you..... then I believe you. So continue.

This semester my goal is to be positive and excited like i was exactly 12 months ago and put positive energy into the task at hand.. which includes my life style to be:

1) SOBER
2) Rested
3) Open minded
4) Determined
5) Positive

WHY?? Because those are all great things........ and because I'm on academic probation and this is the only way I can get a degree in ART SCHOOL. Holy hell. Have no idea what I'd be doing if I went to a normal university.

But really, attitude makes the difference between a fail and a pass, not to mention enjoying your life, AND even maybe making a friend or two.

Who knew.

That is all for now, my head is pounding from all this work.

What's In A Name?

Well hello there Vancity. I'm back in the blogger world, and bigger and better than before.
I was on a sailing trip last week to get my yachting license and I came across a topic that I'd never seriously talked about before.

Identity.

I've heard n know of people who've had to deal with the weirdest most messed up 21 century crime, identity theft... But I never thought of it being a problem that one can bring upon them self.

I'm not talking about some stupid fuck leaving their bank info in an illegal underground poker game, or cock fight. But about information that people give out willingly, almost forwardly, into anyone's face.

For example, in the above sentence where I just GAVE you information about my past week being on a boat.

Another example is google. I google my alias as one word, as two words, my birth name, and my nick name with surname, fairly often to see what comes up... Yeah, I may like myself a little too much, but it can actually be very interesting.

GOOGLE has even picked up on the fact that my birth name and my alias are THE SAME PERSON. How? My own giving of information, almost unconsciously.

Even though right now it may not be a huge issue that it's pretty obvious these two names are ME. the most obvious of them all is thru FACEBOOK.

Holy hell where do i begin. As I'm typing this I am on facebook changing my name to solely just my alias. Why?

Because I WANT MY OWN LIFE BACK!!!!

Think about all those slutty ass highschool girls who's NAMES have been ruined not only from the sack but also on facebook, what are they supposed to do when they go to an interview?

I'm not saying that I was the slutty ass highschool girl, but I'm saying that my life should be a private one. What if later on I want a job with the FBI and they're like "HAY you can't do that cause we know about that one time at band camp!"

FML.

I am Merry Somers the blogger, photographer, alcoholic, and socialite.

But I am me. And all this information is coming from me.

There's a lot to a name, and I don't want to get to two mixed up or conjoined.

Another reason why: The information of one name should not be carried on to the next.

Merry Somers maybe the party picture girl. But I am the aspiring press / war photojournalist adventure travel soloist.

Wrecking the identity of one name may lead into the next.

What my point is, is doing bring that upon yourself and keep your identity safe. The internet is MASSIVE children.

(I took this pic in NYC in Apirl 09.... I think it still speaks to a lot of people... Even if you haven't been laid off.)

(PS. This picture -along with 2 others- are being published in BURNER MAGAZINE september edition CHECK IT!)

Merry Somers Guide To: Finding The Trust Worthy

Over my years of existence, I've found that 98% of people I come across are not trust worthy.
Why? Because they're human.
The 2% of people who are always able to keep their mouth shut and can honestly respond to demand are aliens.
(The secret is out trust worthy ones)

These creatures come in all shapes and sizes, and are rarely green. Ever look at their neck?... right below the hair line? There's a flashing red light.

Other ways you can spot these rare beings are thru this check list:

1) They don't have dandruff (humans with bad dandruff - so bad there's a pool of it that collects in the back of their shirt collar- are the least trust worthy of them all)

2) Their feet are proportionate to their height. (AKA they are not short and have fat feet.... CLOWNS)

3) If the first letter of their name starts with A, B, C, K, L, R, S, and sometimes M.

Ones that you should be MOST weary of are ones with:

1) Trimmed moustaches - and only a moustache... no other facial hair (especially if they're female)

2) Unnecessarily huge, bulky, extended chins

3) If they have or have once ever had a perm.

Look out for these opposite beings. Both are extreme and unique... and neither are covered by the Discovery Channel.
Only here on The Merry Somers Guide.

Be cautious my friends.

Life Lessons Pt 10: The Guide to THE Euro Trip

Since my last post in March I have: finished school, moved out of the apartment in Vancouver, moved back to Toronto, and visited Vienna, Prague, and now Berlin, and by the end of the week will be in Madrid.

Therefore, been in 6 cities in 5 countries in just over 3 weeks. This is what I want to do for the rest of my life, soon I shall ask travel for it's globally hand in marriage and will live happily ever after galloping into many different sunsets.

But how could you not compare each one of these beautiful places? All so different, different locations, currency, language, history, food..... mmmmmmmmmm the food.

ANYWAY what I'm getting at is this:

While planning a euro trip at home

DO NOT:

1) Pre-pay anything accept hotels n flights n trains.
WHY? : THEY DON'T WORK... and if by some chance it does, you're losing money. You may think you're being all cleaver by paying in Canadian dollars, a head of time, having a great plan, etc..... Well, to your unpleasant surprise, you can show those group passes you payed for online to the museum/ tour bus/ show ticket office, the people will look at you with one eye brow raised, smacking the dated gum on the left side of the jaw, blink once, slide the paper back to you, wave their right hand around a bit and say in broken English... "No good". .... End of story.

2) Do not assume that just because Europe is nicer than North America that the weather will match that.

3) Packing EVERYTHING you might POSSIBLY need into your oversize suit case such as:
a) 6 clubbing style dresses
b) 2 shoe horns
c) 4 oversized purses
... will NOT help you during your travels especially when you're
a) not using them
b) traveling by train
c) needing to either run to catch the train, or attempt to use a WC (European "Water Closet")

BONUS: DO NOT EVER, EVER EVER ...EVER TRY TO REPEAT CATCH PHRASES YOU'VE HEAR IN FORGIN MOVIES YOU MIGHT GET THROWN OUT OF THE COUNTRY (aka my father saying during our stay in Berlin "Das ist gut YA?" to the cab driver, receptionist, and waiter).

but DO THIS:

1) Bring your camera wherever you go.
WHY!? It's your only chance to embrace being a Chinese bucket hatted, map sprawling, fan pack wiggling, binocular groping tourist. And European cities are generally just unfairly photogenic.

2) Actually use a travel book (like a top 10 book), they KNOW what they're talking about.

3) Bring a plug converter... or else you will spend the first half of your trip with massive hair, and a dead cell phone, camera, and laptop... and that might just ruin your plans.

That concludes Merry Somers Guide to The Euro Trip and Merry Somers Life Lessons.

Take what you can from this !

(These are some of my favourite pics from the trip so far)

Life Lessons Pt 10: The Conclusion

Over the past four months I've been writing about my lessons learned. Now I've reached the last lesson learned of this series.
A lot changes over four months... a lot of mistakes and accomplishments.

Mistakes including:
1) Having 5 too many blackout drunk nights
2) Almost getting kicked out of every nightlife venue in Vancouver
3) Waking up drunk in Whistler and driving back to Van for my 12:30 class wearing my party dress.
4) Just spilling my vodka caesar all over my floor as I'm typing this
4.5) And running out of paper towels
5) Not recycling my 26s.

Accomplishments including:
1) All of the above.
2) Plus more.

But overall it's been a fantastic four months, but one of the main reason it's been so great is because of a positive attitude.
I've realized how important it is to stay positive, endure your passion, and try your hardest to have fun.

As said perfectly by Ferris Bueller "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. "

It's true, I just watched that movie 1 and a half times the other day. That is life. What is it if you're not positive and having a blast doing what you do?

Yes, I may have become an alcoholic. Yes, I may have said some stupid shit. And Yes, I had a blast, met some great people, and took some dope pictures while doing it. It only gets better when you learn from your mistakes and continue understanding what makes your life more enjoyable.

So in conclusion: there are many Lessons Learned. Although I'm not going to be writing about it in an official themed series, doesn't mean I won't continue learning. There will be plenty of that this summer.

Enjoy !

(This photo was taken when I finished one of my final projects for school SUCCESS)

PS Here's a youtube slidshow I had to do for a project: All the photography I took in the past four months- along with the audio CHECK IT http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrvC0-NRjZo

Life Lessons Pt 9: How To Switch Species

The reason for my absence from the blog world since Feb 27th is due to the following: Alcohol.
I am very sorry, I've been feeling so guilty about it. So here blog world. Let me fill you in:

The Olympic parties really seemed to get my going. I took a bit of a break because there weren't many high rolling DJs in town. I guess I focused on school during that time. That was until, my birthday started creeping up. I have now come to realize that the BirthDAY no longer exists, it has now been replaced with the BirthWEEK and occasionally, for the physcotic ones like myself... the BirthMONTH. Which is proven to also emphasize your DEATHmonth. Literally, a month of partying hard everyday will kill. I am proof- And the months not even over.

Sunday Feb 28th - Got crazy at Deadmau5 @ Gossip and took pictures. It was the closing ceremonies. I got drunk. (Pic ONE)

Thursday March 4-7th - I took it easy, and went to bars and clubs in gastown like Lotus, chilled with friends, didn't take many pics. (Pic TWO)

Tuesday March 9th - Celebrities: DUH. It was the night before my birthday. Tons of people came out and mass consumed shots of Red Headed Sluts mmmmmm my fave. (Pic THREE)

Wednesday March 10th: Officially my birthday and I had 8 hours of school and was more than hungover. Hated Life. Later went downtown with some friends and bar hopped.

Thursday March 11th: My girls and I went on a Donnelly Pub Crawl Tour- I only thought these things were meant for tourists, but apparently not, everyone there (that I talked to) was from Van! It was jokes. I went to more Vancouver bars that night than I had in my 7 months of living here. We hit up places like the Academic, Lamp Lighter, and ended up at Republic... Which included drink tickets and a British double decker bus for transit. Jokes. (Pic FOUR)

Friday March 12th: Jack Beats and AC Slater hit up Celebs! Great show! Actually thought a lot more people would be there- But I heard it was sold out... Weird? It was night to not be crammed in though. Everyone came out, it was a good time. (Pic FIVE)

Saturday March 13th: Chilled with friends, took it easy.

Sunday March 14th: Diplo at Venue!!! Holy WOW. I'm not a fan of Venue- If there are fans of Venue..... WTF?! Venue is more like a last resort venue. ANYHUE I was very pleasantly surprised that night. It wasn't a horribly E tarded/ Douche baggy crowd as I would have usually expected. A lot of cool people showed up and Diplo dropped some insane tunes! Seriously, one of THE BEST shows I've been to! Diplo was completely outa his trees too- which was impressive for such an unreal show. he was spinning house and then outa no where sneaked in dubstep which totally got the crowd soaring. (Pic SIX)

Monday March 15th: My friends and I think it would be a grand idea to go to Whistler for the night, and we were in luck cause only later did we find out Chris Lake was going to be spinning at Garfinkels. It was my first time in Whistler (I know, shame on me), but it was a great time! I enjoyed the village, enjoyed the company, loved the music (I've seen Chris Lake in Vancouver before - I think it was about a month ago) but I think this was an even better show. I got to hear Peak Season's Dre Morel spin for the first time, which I'm sure was great but I was focusing more on his good looks. And took some dope pics! (Pic SEVEN & EIGHT)

Tuesday March 16th: I leave Whistler before 10am to drive to Vancouver... for my 12 30 class. I wasn't having fun with it.

Now. I'm dead. Lesson Learned: If you want to no longer be human... and switch species. Go get wrecked every day for a week, I promise you, You'll never be the same.

Life Lessons Pt 8: How To Survive The Olympics

Well I came back from Toronto early. There was just so much going on in the news, and all the parties, I knew I had to take part and get rowdy. So I switched my flight to get back at 11pm on Tuesday Feb 23rd.

The next day I get a gig at Canvas Lounge for the Men's Olympic Ski Jumping victory party. I go with a friend, take pictures, talk to people, have some drinks, and then peace to The Cellar... where there were SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS and more drinks. Then got into the Irish House (where Colbert was recently) and had more drinks. The streets of Granville were filled and everyone was stoked on life.



The next day I went to the Women's Canada vs. USA Hockey game where I screamed at the top of my lungs getting so rowdy for Canada. That night a group of us went back to The Cellar for a friends going away party. Our friend is in a wheel chair due to a broken ankle... I had no idea how much people love cripples. We're pushing her around the sky train and down Granville yelling "SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS" and "GO CANADA GO" while the rest of the mosh of people gave her high fives like a champ. At The Cellar I'm taking pics of the band, turn around and see that the USA Women's Hockey team had showed up! More drinks for me, and them and soon enough we were all singing Sweet Home Alabama on stage. What a night.

And lost my voice.



The next day (last night- Friday) I took pics are Calvin Harris which was dope.

ANYWAY THIS IS HOW TO SURVIVE:

1) Bring a friend in a wheel chair: You get lots of free drinks, new friends, and skip lines.
2) Get rowdy
3) Sing karaoke with Olympic Athletes
4) Scream Lil John ft. LMFAOs song "SHOTS"
5) Take advantage of drinking on the streets while you can.

I've realized that as much as I disagree with the Olympics, hate what it's done to Vancouver, all the money it's waisted. I do love the parties. And getting rowdy with strangers.

(The first picture is of me and my friend with some of the Olympic Ski Jumpers, Second pic is of the drummer - both at Canvas... Third pic is of a Woman's USA Olympic hockey player getting rowdy at The Cellar... And the fourth pic is of Calvin Harris at Celebrities)

1 word: DOPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Life Lessons Pt 7: You Want What You Can't Have

I live in Vancouver, BC. You know what that means. The Olympics.
Now obviously this has had tons of hype for a while now, whenever you hear "Vancouver" you think "2010 Olympics" (Or maybe that's just me).

ANYWAY. I was pretty pumped for the Olympics, and living in the host city. WOW the big WINTER GAMES. A time when countries from all over the globe congregate in one city to show off without using weapons. The chance for Canada to really show off it's fantastic mass amounts of snow and put it to use. A chance for Canada to redirect it's Hockey Night to it's Olympic Games. A chance for Whistler Snow Junkies to display what they've been trying to justify dropping out of school for.

Well all I can say is HA!

We were all so pumped for the Olympics, but as it crept close the locals started noticing how many douche bags were supporters of the games... And as those douche bags started appearing more and more like wild cattle let out of a gate, everyone knew to abandon their homes and flee. But it's not like we're over reacting! Not only was Vancouver flooded by a tsunami of grease monkeys but also by:

Taxes: which are going to: MOVING SNOW FROM MOUNTAIN TO MOUNTAIN BY HELICOPTER... WTF CANADA

Police: Vancouver has enough police for good reason, but seriously we don't need an army of police boats acting as Big Brother around English Bay

New Employees: Obviously the Olympics has employed many of people which is great for mullah, but it's not cool. I went to great a crepe from my favourite crepe place on Granville Island. I was craving it all week, so pumped, and there's a new girl on staff. Who completely massacred my highlight of the day. It's just not the same.

Art Installations: Holy Fucking Hell. I like art. I like public art installations. But I hate those fucking beams of light raping the skies of English Bay and False Creek. THEY LOOK STUPID, THE DESIGNS DON'T WORK, THEY'RE SO BRIGHT, I CAN'T SLEEP, GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANYWAY. We all loved the Olympics when it wasn't here... But now that it's come it's not nearly as good as we expected.
Lesson Learned.

But in all honesty... if we weren't having the Olympics in Vancouver everyone would have been like "Wow, it'd be so cool to have the Olympics here". And yes, I do semi regret flying to Toronto and not having to deal with the chaos.

(This photo was taken the night of the Opening Games at Burrard and Robson... where I find lights, fire, fire works, a concert, and a mosh pit of thousands of people... To my surprise).

Life Lessons Pt 6: How To Be Aggressive

On friday night I went to a Rusko show. It was packed, everyone was hyped, the music was dope, it smelled horrible, and I thought the floors were going to cave. Typical dubstep. I somehow managed to consume 14 drinks in 3.5 hours.

ANYWAY blah blah blah shit happens and I punch a guy in the face. 5 times.

1) I don't know how to punch.
2) I have 3 huge metal rings on my right hand.
3) I was waisted.

I wake up in the morning and get a text saying "your hand hurting?"
I flex my hand confused... fine. Then trying to recall what happened the night before FUCKKKK

Later as the pieces are put together and my thumb continues to swell and bruise I find myself thinking "WHY THE FUCK DID I PUNCH HIM"

Me being the egotistical drunk I am did it because I was told I was "all talk".

Lesson learned... learn how to punch properly before the vodka fills your ego.
... Another lesson learned....
.............DON'T MESS WITH ME.

........I'M CHUCK NORRIS BITCH!

(This picture is from that night- I think I was just got so hyped up cause it was in the air)

Life Lessons Pt 5: How To Handle Emergencies

On Monday, I woke up, thought about school and had an anxiety attack. An anxiety attack so bad that my body cut off my senses (I went blind and deaf) for about 25 minutes. WTF. Literally, blind and deaf. However, it wasn't a black out, like what happens when you have 8 shots of tequila and 4 double vodka and redbulls, it was as if I had died. All I saw was a bright white light, and nothing else. All I heard was a horrific buzzing sound. So, what the hell are you supposed to do when the things you rely on the most disappear? Call 911. Although I'm not one to ask for help, this seemed like my only option. (And my phone was with me when this happened- hence how I was able to call).

So just about 10 minutes after I call the ambulance, it all stopped. As if nothing were to have happened I felt perfectly fine. Oh fuck. The ambulance is on the way and I look like a complete jackass. So, what do you do? But quickly get changed and jump in bed before anyone sees you. I lay in bed acting dead as the ambulance men open my door trying to find me. To my surprise they were GORGEOUS. "Oh hey there boys" I thought. And they just looked at me like "WTF are you doing?"

So immediately I explain to them what happened, and that somehow it passed really fast. The only thing they really commented on what how many clothes I had on my floor. "Great, now they see me at my worst, there goes my chance for getting their numbers" I thought. Because I have no doctor in Vancouver they suggest they drive me to the hospital for a check up. I chat in the back of the ambulance with Mr. Hottie about his job and how funny I am.

I get there, I wait for a while, have a smoke, give a smoke to another crazy lady waiting there, we talk about how long we have to wait (even though I really didn't have to wait long at all), I go back in, wait some more, update my facebook, chat on bbm, and get called in by the doctor.

Who then informs me that I worked my body up so much that I fainted, but consciously. So it's like fainting and losing all your senses, but still being aware. WEIRD.

So I take a cab home, get changed, I figure I should get to class. NOT A GOOD IDEA.

Anyway, If you feel like a jackass for calling 911, it's probably for the better cause it's embarrassing. Just hope for two sexy men who ask if you want to jump on their stretcher.

(This picture is from a photo shoot I did on Friday of the band Dalla-Tina... When I saw the bright white light I thought I died)

Life Lessons Pt 4: How To Move On

In life we come across many barriers which hold us back from moving on. Whether it being stuck on a crush, a social situation, work, loss, anything which holds us back from continuing on with our day, keeps our focus, or haunts our sleep. During this time we put all our energy into thinking "How can I fix this?", "Why can't I fix this?", "Why will this not go away?", "If only I was a magician", or just yelling and being angry with the world in general.

Well that's not guna get you anywhere.
From experience and from hearing it constantly from others, the crush seems to be the worst, most common, most stuck up on, barrier. Basically like the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You"... But in the end all of that was proven to be wrong. Bullshit. WTF is that about? The guy gives in after making all these rules? That's horrible, it just means that that entire movie was a lie. So that's why I'm here to set it straight... Once you realize: they don't like you, are seeing someone else, it's just not happening, you're too tied up, you've started stalking them - you know you'll have to get over them, and move on.

First things first.
1) Tell yourself they're gay. They don't like you because they want more of what they already have. Done deal, you can't help nature.
2) Get drunk (preferably not alone)
3) Go shopping
4) Make yourself a fan page on Facebook
5) "Accidentally" bump into them a month later looking HOT and with a sexy other.

Honestly, if the gay thought followed by getting drunk doesn't help, then you're seriously stuck. If that's the case, make yourself busy, time will go by, and they'll soon become the last thing on your mind.

GET OVER IT

(I took this picture at Fortune on the 15th- now up on thefuturists.ca)

Life Lessons Pt 3: How To Fill Free Time

I have recently tried a number of things to fill in my free time, which I seem to have a lot of since I've denied my schools existence. Some time fillers have worked, others not so much. My goal was to keep myself busy (without thinking about school) and spend minimal time at my apartment which has proven to drive me to astrology, psychology, crazy, and alcoholism.
Fixes ranging from specifically driving to Burrard and Broadway to repetitively make U turns, to going over to a friends to youtube Jimmy Fallon's "Bothered" skit, to going to Safeway just to be surprised that there's a Starbucks in the middle.

Ways to Fill Free Time: DOs:

1) Go to a friend's and youtube Jimmy Fallon's "Bothered"
2) Try different grocery stores and compare which one feeds the most attractive people
3) Bungee jump from the Granville Bridge
4) Ride the aquabus and exchange drunken stories with the driver
5) Go to Saphora to collect free samples of face creams

Ways to Fill Free Time: DON'Ts:

1) Do U turns at Burrard and Broadway
2) Finish half a 26 of vodka to yourself and then go to the club Celebrities... when you have an 8:30am class the next morning
3) Go to Kinkos for a "quick print"
4) Engage in personal conversations with Safeway employees
5) Go for a walk and assume it's not going to rain

Lessons Learned.

Life Lessons Pt 2: How To Address Problems

Sometimes when you're stuck in life time seems to stand still. The same problem keeps circling your mind, not going away, and seems to be inevitable and never resolved. WTF are you supposed to do? Ask for advise? Search it in Google? Take a personality quiz? Check your horoscope? Well sure, those are all the things I do, but unless you seriously get enlightened by a wise monk, you'll go no where.

So in all honesty, wise monk talk, I suggest drinking. By doing this you will not realize how much time has gone by, your problems will disappear, you'll start not caring, and you might need to get a liver transplant. But, everyone gets those at least twice in a life time, so it's no big deal.

If vodka's not your cup of delusion, then I would try tequila. 8 shots of that and you know a year will feel like a week. But what a week! No worries, problems, confusions, responsibilities, stress, any of that, except for compulsive shaking after spending half of that time over a toilet, garbage can, sewer, car window, or alley way store stoop.

However, after sobering up from your alternate dream universe, the problems, stress, and reality hit. And that's when worst comes to worse and you have to throw your arms in the air from your ruffled crusty messy covers and yell "FUCK IT" with your raspy harsh cancer embedded throat, and deal with what ever has been haunting you and pushing you to alcoholism... After you go throw up again and take a shower.

Life Lessons Pt 1: How To Get Thru Lectures

As I am writing I am in my first lecture of the semester. Last semester I had an art history lecture. Both are three hours long, in a room with 400 people, and a stage, podium, screen, and projector at the front.
WTF are you supposed to do when you're not sitting on an isle seat at the back of the room? It's boring, your aggravated, my ass goes numb, you start daydreaming about what you would be doing if you weren't chained to your seat, and you start trying to over hear other peoples whispering chatter. AND the worst, when the teacher is trying to be funny, and the audiences responses is a low groan.

Well, from my experiences with this years boring, lengthy, tedious lectures, this is what I've learned. My guide.

1) SIT ON THE ISLE
2) Bring your laptop
3) Have a large 4 shot coffee
4) Google as much information as possible so you can book mark it, and not have to listen
5) Text others who are in the class, so you can be further distracted, but more entertained.
6) Resist yelling or throwing objects
7) If you do make sure they can't see your face
8) If they do know who you are and they confront you about it, tell them that you have the stomach flu, haven't been able to sleep in 2 weeks, you've been studying but you're so dyslexic you don't understand anything, and you really like their sweater, "where'd you get it?"
9) During the smoke break... run.
10) Ponder what you think the teachers life story may be... As an extremest.

Follow these guidelines... and you'll pass with a C-... But you'll enjoy that extra time free that you'll probably just spend on facebook anyway.

This picture was taken when I was 16... Same thing on my mind now. Not much as changed.

(THIS IS WRITING, A STORY, ENTERTAINMENT, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, VIEWER FRIENDLY, A JOKE, SARCASM... Take it however way you want, but this is not FACT nor ENCOURAGEMENT)

Ways Of Communication

Communication is something that can be done thru tons on portals. However, communication somehow seems to be humans worst skill. Seriously, the emotion of confusion would not exist if we could communicate clearly, and yet it seems that people are confused 99% of the time. Zombies wondering around, facebook, twitter, texting, bbming, msn, calling, blogging, meeting, teleporting, telecom, letters, art, photography, everything- SO MANY WAYS... yet we fail to communicate correctly.

In result I have decided to make up my own language which cannot be mistaken for anything else. Mrah.
My language is clear as glass, that with the addition of facial expressions. Eye rolling, eye expanding, eyebrow bending, teeth grinding, eye glaring, wrinkle shaking, mouth left side: grinning, "yea right", "you're going to regret that", "that's fantastic". Along with the words: "Mrah", "Rah", Mrarah", "Gah", "Mah", "Garahaha", "Mumahmarah", etc... It's very clear.

So I believe that if everyone adapts my language the emotion of confusion would not exist, everyone would be able to communicate clearly, and we all would be happier. So far there are only two people on earth that are fluent in this language: Will you be next?

Mrah.